Hear your words

Hello Everyone! How are you doing today? Thursday here in Toronto and I have finished up a day at work and recently got home after spending some time with my boyfriend which was awesome! Hope you guys had an amazing day and get a goodnights rest for the day ahead! Onto the post now!

Do you ever find that giving advice is something that comes naturally to you?

I find that I am very good at giving advice and I am not just saying that for the sake of saying it. Actually, I think most people are good at giving advice or saying words to lift others spirits, which is good! Every now and again we reach out to the people that surround us whether it be family, friends, co-workers, etc. for advice on situations that we find ourselves in or! We may not need advice but we may just be having a tough day where we need to rant and are hopeful of getting some reassurance from someone that everything is A-Okay. Like I said, I think I am pretty good at this as I listen attentively, I am able to sympathize, and I am able to always remind people who confide in me to look on the brighter side of things.

I find myself in a way preaching the words of – it will be okie, things will get better, don’t be so hard on yourself or! If it is not a situation of having to give advice but uplift their spirits I am good at that as well! Let’s use an example hmm…Let’s say I have a friend that has been feeling a bit down in regards to her appearance and has just reached a breaking point and cannot see the beauty she holds. I would like to think that I am very comforting in these situations and can reassure her that she is beautiful and there is not only just one way to be pretty, there are endless versions of beauty.

Let’s look at another example perhaps more in terms of me having to give advice. So let’s say my friend is having issues with believing she has the ability to accomplish a goal she has always wanted to do and has others around her that doubt her capability. I would be able to comfortably sit with her, see where she is going with her plans and try to help her find a way of putting her plans into action. I would totally encourage her to go for what she believes in and ignore what everyone else has to say! It’s her decision not theirs!

I think by those two examples you guys get where I am going with the I think I am good at giving advice and providing support, basically I am positives all around and a burst of encouragement. When I am helping others I try to help them demolish the feeling of fear and replace it with only courage, pretty good cheerleader! Now, here is the crazy part…Thinking back on all the advice or words of encouragement that has come out of my mouth kinda shocks me because at times I find myself feeling the same exact way as the person who came to me for help. Isn’t that weird!? You would think if I am giving out advice and help on certain things I would not be facing the same issues but I totally do. This may come off as being hmm hypocritical to some as yes I say one thing to encourage others yet I beat myself up over the same exact things which I can see how it would appear that way but! I feel like many of us do this exact thing. We are all pros and experts when it comes to helping a friend get past a rough patch but when it comes to picking ourselves up and finding the light to be a stronger person for us…that is just difficult and at times seems impossible. As always, I do not want to speak for everyone as hey! Some people are great at self-motivating and seeing their best potential as well as others but for me, seeing the best in myself at times can be hard. What made me think about this today was simply because I woke up in not much of a great mood I will admit. The drop in my mood and self-esteem took place yesterday evening and it kinda ties in to the post I wrote about yesterday as well…Clothing. If you had a chance to read that post you would be aware that I was not completely pleased with my purchase as it just did not fit as I had envisioned it which of course was disappointing.  It’s kinda like I set myself up for failure and I do this quite often and of course not only with clothing but many things! Sticking to what got me down yesterday I will explain how I set myself up for failure with clothing. Long story short! I purchased a track suit that looked so great on the site, I was super excited to receive it in the mail as I couldn’t wait to try it on and be amazed at how well it fit. Now, before purchasing it I did have a few reservations about buying the outfit as I was not sure how it would frame by body as I have gained a couple of pounds that are proving very hard to get rid of but nevertheless I said what the heck! Let me just go for it, I just might end up loving it! So, it arrived and I was so excited to try it on and of course when I did my excitement just died! I was not pleased at all with how it looked and I honestly was even thinking of not writing the post yesterday as I just felt so down about myself after but, I said I will still post it and be hopeful that one day this will be something I will enjoy wearing. All night, I felt pretty bad and my mind was racing about things that I had consumed this week that I totally regretted and it was just all negative thoughts to be honest. Fast forward to this morning! I got up, went to shower and of course!!! My washroom has tons of mirrors so I get a total 360 view of myself which did not help as I was able to see all the problem areas in their prime. So basically guys, my morning started off on a “nothing looks good on me, how can I lose this weight!?, I am so tired saying I will diet and exercise to then fall behind, etc.”

So back to the point of my post! If I were to hear one of my friends saying those exact things I was saying to myself, I would tell her to stop that she is crazy for thinking like that! But what makes her situation different from mine?

Where are my words of positively and courage when I need it?

It is like nonexistent when I am looking for it which sucks! There are many popular sayings like,

“Take your own advice”

OR

“Do as you preach”

And of course there are many more but! Those are the two that come to mind at this time. Clearly these phrases are popular for a reason and it is because we are so good at giving out advice and trying to make others feel good but we never do the same for ourselves. It is so much easier for us to beat ourselves us and contradict all of the positive things that we would say to others when it comes to ourselves.  There are many aspects of my life that I am really harsh on myself but this just so happens to be the issue of today that has also been popping up more often than the others. I hope to be more confident in myself and believe exactly what I tell others; there are many versions of beauty. A little bit of weight does not make me any less than what I was before but although I say that here my mind is automatically saying no… It is clearly something I have to work on and it definitely is an issue I have to resolve within. Next time I go to give advice, I hope that I truly hear my words I am expressing to someone.

Can you say that you take your advice?

Thanks for reading as always! Hope you may have been able to relate to this post for now that is it for me!

Goodnight…Until the next Lifestyleforyoureyes post

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Ipuna Black says:

    Good evening! I think we are hardest on ourselves. We need to be better with that. I work on it constantly. It’s great that you listen to your friends and give advice. They are lucky to have you around for that!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah for sure but when I actually think of it, it seems so crazy that we can give perfectly sensible advice but would go almost insane with our personal issues although it may be similar to our friends/families issues. =) life such a funny way of working huh? I realize that more and more as I get older. Thank you for reading and sharing =)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ipuna Black says:

        Ha ha ha. You are so right. It is ironic.

        Like

  2. dreamchasers says:

    Give me a high five !!! After reading your post I felt like we are the twins sharing same thoughts. I often end up giving advice to everyone trying my hard tricks to lift them up and move on. I don’t know , that automatically happens with me , I talk a lot to convince them and make them believe in their strength. But as you said when it comes to us , the same situation , sometimes I feel like whom to hang on, I find myself much alone. It takes time for us to heal by ourselves. Thanks for the post , I saw much of myself there. 🙂

    Like

  3. outnaboutweb says:

    Great post! This is so true. I actually think too, that I know what to say to otheres to encourage, but I never say it to me, or if I do, I don’t belive it. I need to change that!
    love, elena

    outnaboutweb.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for reading! Good to know we relate with this! It’s super crazy how we can give good advice but need it so much to, so ironic! I hope both of us can find ways to improve and self-motivate😊 Sure you are full of good advice!!! Take care

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Meagan says:

    I can totally relate to this! As a teacher, I’m constantly saying things to my students about how to live their lives…yet, when it comes time for me to do the same, it’s actually so hard!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Isn’t that insane how that works!? Wish we trusted ourselves more

      Liked by 1 person

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