What is the first thing that comes to mind when you read the title to this post? Do you answer this question quickly or does it take a minute or so to think about? Are you confused? Are you sure of your answer? How do you feel asking yourself something like this?
Hey guys! How’s life treating you today? I hope peachy good and you are all smiles and laughs =) Today I wanted to talk about something that falls into the category of being a bit serious (at least from my perspective). Now I have not been blogging for very long but from what I have so far posted, I am sure you guys can see my blog is spread wide and far. There are no topics that I am not up for discussing and everything I post on here relates to the day I am having in some way, shape, or form. Some of my posts may be a bit more upbeat and fun while others may be a bit more thoughtful and deep and, of course there always is whatever is in between both of those! With that being said and out of our way! Let’s get into the question that inspired me to write this post. I would truly appreciate hearing your thoughts on this topic so leave me a comment below or please send me a direct message!
Have you found the answer to this question the stands in front of us today? It is such a simple question but it seems like such a difficult one to answer to me.
CUT…STORY-TIME GUYS! – A little while back (sometime last year), I was sitting in the living room with my parents and we were just relaxing, watching some TV and most likely just finished having some sort of meal, I want to say breakfast. As we were sitting and watching TV, something was said on a show and it related to love for oneself. Now I must say, I really was not paying too much attention to what the show was or what was going on in the show but then I heard my Dad say something like “yeah right” and my Mom quickly turned to him. As she did that she said something to him and followed by whatever she said, she asked him “Don’t you love yourself?” Now…I believe whatever we were watching was a playful show nothing too too serious and the conversation they began was also something playful BUT! This question really caught my attention it was super weird, I felt as though I never heard someone ever ask anyone that before and really…I can’t recall if I had before that (yes, yes, I have heard people say don’t you think you’re pretty or don’t you think you are nice, etc. but not straight up, Do you love yourself). So now my attention was grasped and I listened in to what my Dad had to say which his answer was very unclear, there was no yes and I believe at first he said no but then started rambling on about something which then! He asked me, “Do you love yourself?” Quick fact, most conversations I have with my parents I try to keep it lighthearted and causal as I am not a person that likes to show emotions face to face, I avoid it at all costs and just hearing this question made me feel…Emotionally uncertain. After a slight pause, I simply just laughed it off and kept the conversation moving, my mom had the last word on that topic which was “Of course I love myself, I am me” and I believe she may have said something along the lines of “no one else is me so I love me”. Good for my mom right!? She honestly had no hesitation and that is great, see happy ending to my story guys! The end…kinda
Ever since then, I would think of that question off and on, it was not a constant thought but it was never something that popped into my head before and now I found it coming as it pleased. So are you wondering what the answer is for me? My answer is simply I am unsure and that is pretty messed up I think. Every time my mind presents that question to me I feel this heavy, rushing sort of feeling in my chest, it is a question that makes me mentally shiver and I believe that is because I cannot answer it. It is so crazy when I actually think of it because the phrases I love you, love you, anything along the lines of that comes up so often in people’s lives, it is something that I believe many people say on a day to day but how many people can say that same phrase to themselves? For example, my boyfriend I love him to the milky way and back multiplied by infinity and beyond but I cannot say the same about myself and I actually do find that pretty sad…Now do not get me wrong, I have respect for myself and there are many qualities that I find are admirable about myself (work ethic being up there!) but there are also qualities that I strongly dislike (lack of believing in myself at times) about myself. As many people, some days I have such good days where I am happy and proud of myself for accomplishing something and other days it is the complete opposite, I truly am my worst enemy at times. I wish I could quickly and honestly say “I love myself” but for some reason I cannot bring that to words without it feeling unnatural at this point.
This year, I am working towards being kinder to myself and allowing myself some slack (Weirdly enough even as I write this guys, my mind is literally saying you have been giving yourself slack) don’t be so hard on myself. I am sure I am not alone and others feel this way as well but I am hopeful that we can all find love within ourselves and one day be able to look in a mirror and say “I love you” as strange as that my sound or look. We all have great qualities and we all have not so great qualities but that is the balance of life, I guess if everything was just perfect life there would either be something hidden that was really wrong or life would just be dull. We all have it in us to be happy with ourselves but it takes time and being able to truly say you know who you are and are comfortable with that. That is something I am struggling with, the what I am in certain aspects of my life does not compare to what I had hoped to be at this point in life in that same aspect if that makes sense! It is a work in progress and I know it will not change overnight but like I said, I am truly hopeful that this year will bring to me happiness within and not only happiness to be received from outside sources. If you guys have gone through this and overcome please send me some details of what worked for you or steps you took to reach your I love me moment! I would be so happy to hear, I hope you enjoyed this post
Take care…Until the next Lifestyleforyoureyes post